Gratitude Friday – a new mantra (or two)


I had an entirely different post planned out for today, talking about the joys of knitting.  But.  I am really struggling with gratitude this week.  Among other stresses, we found out yesterday (after over a year of trying to find a dentist to work with us) that our daughter needs a lot of very expensive dental work done.  She is two and a half.  I am trying really hard to move past my anger and fear about this, but I’m not sure how much I’m succeeding.

Last night, as I was waiting for Ella to fall asleep completely, I was reading Mommy Mantras, by Bethany Casajarian and Diane Dillon.  I will confess that when I first picked up this book it seemed, well, fluffy.  I put it down, and then I picked it up again.  I was on the chapter on anger, and I reached this mantra: Within me there is a peacefulness that cannot be disturbed.

My heart softened a bit, towards myself, the dentists and pediatrician who had not helped us, towards our entire predicament.

Within me there is a peacefulness that cannot be disturbed.

And then, this one:  Bring it on. Part of their description for this mantra reads, “Bring it on can shape a negative event into a warrior act of service for a greater good.  Think of it as being a really assertive monk.”

It’s safe to say that these two phrases are going up on my wall, the dashboard of my car, possibly on my forehead.  Today, I’m grateful most all to Ben, who is at my side for all of this, and for Mommy Mantras.


17 Responses to “Gratitude Friday – a new mantra (or two)”

  1. 1

    I am really sorry to hear about the expensive dental work. :( I know you have been trying so hard to protect and care for Ella’s teeth and this must feel so daunting, frustrating, and scary in multiple ways. Big, big hugs and love to you. I’m impressed with the mantras you identified; they are powerful words of resilience. I need to borrow them myself.

  2. 2
    Amanda M.

    Thank you for sharing these mantras! I’m sorry to hear about Ella’s dental work. We’ve been trying to work with our dentist for our daughter’s teeth and I know how hard it can be, and for me how much guilt I have about it, although I know it’s really nothing we are doing wrong!

  3. 3

    Poor you and poor Ella. How can such a little bean need a lot of dental work? It seems so unfair! I’m not very up on these things but I’ve been hearing more and more about really young children needing work, I always thought that was something that waited until the adult teeth came in. So sorry that you are all dealing with this I know I can’t be anything that you’ve done or was preventable. I’m sure you’ll all get through it.

  4. 4

    Lot’s of well wishes as you navigate the dental issues. I know how that kind of thing just cuts to the heart. Sounds like for you it is bringing some opening and growth, which is often the unexpected gift of difficult situations. Be well, Kyce

  5. 5

    ps thanks for the mantras.

  6. 6

    I can so relate! My teeth are falling apart again for some reason. I keep getting cavities and can’t figure out why. And I’ve been trying to do sustainable farming for the past 9 years and can’t afford that much dental work! When I was 12, I went to the dentist and had 30 cavities. What a nightmare. Later when I had kids, I so wanted to spare them from the dental trauma that I had growing up. My strategy was to feed them as healthy as possible, all organic, no pop, and to take them to the dentist as often as practical to catch cavities while they are still very small, so they can be filled with plastic fillings and don’t need Novocaine shots. My kids aren’t traumatized by going to the dentist, but they were still getting a lot of cavities. Then we tried raw milk, and after a year their dentist said “Wow! Look at that enamel! You don’t see that anymore.” And no cavities. According to Weston Price, pasteurizing milk destroys the enzymes needed to absorb the calcium in milk. Fresh raw organic grass-fed milk has a tremendous amount of calcium and minerals in it, and a growing kid can really utilize it all if it’s not pasteurized. It really worked for my kids. Unfortunately now, my oldest is away at college and has no access to raw milk, and has started to get cavities again. I myself am unfortunately very allergic to dairy, even if it’s raw, and have no ability to digest lactose anymore. I eat all organic foods and take a premium liquid calcium and minerals, and I still get cavities. To cope with the stress and trauma of having dental work done, I find that it helps to take Kava Kava before seeing the dentist for the anxiety, and I take homeopathic Arnica and Ledum afterwards (never take them before!), if the dentist does any work on me. It really helps clear up the pain of the drilling and shots quickly. Also if you take some form of caffeine after dental work, it clears up the numbness from the Novocaine quickly. Dark Chocolate would work for a kid. Of course nothing beats a nice, caring, empathetic dentist!

  7. 7

    I forgot to mention that Vitamin D is also really important in preventing cavities, I think. Good for the immune system too. You probably already know all this, but just in case.

    Best Wishes.

  8. 8

    Thanks Jen – hope they work for you, too!

  9. 9

    Thank you for your kind words, and I’m sorry to hear you’ve been through the same. I think letting go of the guilt is hard but helpful, to be sure. All the best.

  10. 10

    Thank you for your kindness. It seems that some percent of kids just have mouths that get cavities much more easily, even with tooth-brushing and a whole foods diet, although there’s always more you can do.

  11. 11

    Thank you – I do feel (after a bit of space and a lot of thought) that is forcing me to become a much stronger mama, so I’m trying to be glad for it. Best,

  12. 12

    Thank you for all your thoughts – we do have a very healthy diet for many reasons as well, and I tried to take Ella to the dentist over a year and half ago but could not find anyone to look at her, which was insanely frustrating. We’re raw milk fans as well, but don’t always have it – definitely one of the points I’m trying to emphasize now.

  13. 13

    i am sorry i am only reading this today. i am so glad you are finding a peaceful strength. all the bad doctors brought you to a good one in the end, i hope, despite the outcome being scary.
    thank you for sharing this book. i love the quotes you shared. very powerful!
    Which Name?

  14. 14

    Thank you for your kind thoughts (and don’t feel bad about just now reading it!). Hope you find the mantras useful, too. Best,

  15. 15

    To add to Botan’s thoughts, Cod Liver Oil helps, too. And it comes in naturally-flavoured lemon, so it doesn’t taste all fishy.

    Best of luck; it’s really difficult having a little one needing so much done.

  16. 16

    Thank you for your thoughts!

  17. 17

    [...] that mantra I shared a while back?  It popped into my head today, as I drove to what promises to be a crazy afternoon [...]

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